Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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