I need help removing her.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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