I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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