i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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