Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
