Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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