Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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