No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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