there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
