sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
