stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
