It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
