this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
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Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
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If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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