What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
