omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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