alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My vagina is officially offended.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
