We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
