I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
