i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
