my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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