I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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