so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
