with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
