Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
