His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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