how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All the doctor said was why
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
