Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do herpes really smell.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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