Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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