Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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