the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
