I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
