Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
