This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
