If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
