my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
