do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
