his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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