let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
