I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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As shirtless as possible
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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