I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
