Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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