Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
