Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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