let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
