I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
