This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize