im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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