Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
