Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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