The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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