i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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