my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I understand Curling. That high.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
