For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
