I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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