so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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