I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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