We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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