Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
