Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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