I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
