So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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