It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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