Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You need a sexual gate keeper
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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